hi. i’m still here. I let this project lose focus while I continued fighting for a way forward in life. i’m still struggling with many of the same things that I was at the time of my last post 14 months ago, but I’ve found a lot of internal growth. I’m coming back to my tech career dream this month, but I granted myself more space from the pressures of the industry for the last year. I went and worked as a barista and selling cosmetics, but I found profound myself in profound burnout yet again this summer, and quit all gigs again to keep soul-searching.

i think i’ve finally found what I was looking for. I’m not sure how to relay it yet, but i’ve accomplished a fundamental switch on a deep level from feelings of fear & scarcity to love & abundance. With this shift, most of the suicidal ideation I’ve experience for years has lost its power. I’m still having good & bad days, but I feel able to channel the good days productively again and not let the bad days sink me. From this place I feel capable of confronting the personal challenges which were leaving me sidelined from my professional development for years. stay tuned, big developments coming…